Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship. Do these infidelity statistics seem a bit startling? What these findings suggest is that approximately one half of all married men and women do seek intimacy outside of their committed relationships. But what does this really mean and why are the number of men and women having extramarital affairs so high?
This may come as a complete surprise, but most extramarital affairs are not about sex. What then, is the main factor that causes infidelity? One should pay attention to the reason most people find intimacy with someone outside of their marriage is because their emotional needs are not being met. Yes, it is true in most cases of infidelity about wanting to feel emotionally connected to someone.
One should realize that suggestions might not be particularly popular, especially among men and women who are on the receiving end of the infidelity. Obviously, finding out that your spouse or partner has cheated on you is shocking and painful. Realizing that you are just another number that adds to the infidelity statistic is not something you would like to flaunt.
According to a poll over over 1,100 women conducted by http://www.womansavers.com/, over 62% of women thought that men cheat more than women. However, in a similar WomanSaver’s poll of over 850 women, only 67% said they would never cheat on their partner. According to the current infidelity statistics 60% of men and 40% of women are involved in extramarital affairs. These figures are even more drastic when the total numbers of marriages are considered. Because it is less likely that all the men and women having extramarital affairs do happen to be married to each other. At least half of the women having affairs are married to men are not included in the 60% of men having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in about 80% of all marriages.
With this study you can see that many marriages are getting affected and it is unreasonable to think affairs are due to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives. Leave alone the entire world, only in U S, 17% of divorces are caused by unknown misconceptions such as infidelity. There exists even stronger evidence, which proves that there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
The reality is that there are a lot of unsatisfying and empty relationships out there, but however, the reason why infidelity statistics are as high as they are is because people place a higher value on their careers, children, friends or hobbies and not on their relationships with their partners. Think about it, when you neglect any of these areas, it is just a matter of time before they deteriorate and ultimately lead to its untimely death. The failure in the relationship becomes imminent. The bottom line is that if you want to avoid becoming yet another case that adds to the infidelity statistic, then you must nurture and prioritize your relationship with your spouse or partner. As you may have already figured out, unlike planes, relationships cannot be maintained on "auto-pilot".
Friday, 7 January 2011
Make Up After Cheating? Forgiving, Forgetting, And Making Up After Cheating
If you’ve been involved in a break up because one or both people cheated, you may wonder what you’re chances are for making up after cheating. This is a very tricky situation. Cheating is such a personal issue that it really depends on the circumstances behind what happened. The answer is going to be different for every couple.
Getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend after you’ve broken up for any reason is difficult. When you add cheating to the equation, it gets even muddier. Cheating is a serious breach of trust. It may cause a serious rift between a couple that simply cannot be overcome. The seriousness of cheating cannot be overemphasized.
If you are the guilty party who has been cheating and you still want to reconcile with your ex, the first thing to do is make sure that the other person is out of your life for good. If you are serious about wanting your ex to forgive you, you can never, ever let infidelity happen again with this person or any other person. Your repentance has to be sincere and complete. It may take time to convince your ex that you really mean that you’ve changed and you will remain faithful, but if you’re serious about making up after cheating you’ll need to do this for as long as it takes.
If you have been the victim of a cheater who now wants you back, consider very carefully if it seems sincere. You need to know that the same type of betrayal won’t just happen again if you give your relationship a second chance. Consider carefully the reason why your ex cheated in the first place. If your relationship was going downhill and you were fighting a lot before the cheating began, then there could be hope for you. But if your ex was deceiving you from the beginning or cheating for no apparent reason, then you’ve got no good reason to want your ex back in your life. To invite them back into your life would only be asking for more heartache and another painful breakup.
The length of your relationship will also factor into whether you want to rekindle your relationship after breaking up. If you were only together for a short time before the cheating behavior began than it is probably better off that you are not together anymore. But if you were together for a very long time and were highly committed to each other, you may want to think a little harder about making your breakup permanent. Do not throw away a long-standing, good relationship because of one honest mistake.
Cheating is a tricky issue that brings up very strong feelings. Breaking up because of infidelity in a relationship is a very difficult thing. Getting back together after that huge breach of trust is tough. You and your ex certainly can make up after cheating, but it isn’t going to be easy to repair the damage caused by infidelity. Proceed carefully and expect it to take time.
Getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend after you’ve broken up for any reason is difficult. When you add cheating to the equation, it gets even muddier. Cheating is a serious breach of trust. It may cause a serious rift between a couple that simply cannot be overcome. The seriousness of cheating cannot be overemphasized.
If you are the guilty party who has been cheating and you still want to reconcile with your ex, the first thing to do is make sure that the other person is out of your life for good. If you are serious about wanting your ex to forgive you, you can never, ever let infidelity happen again with this person or any other person. Your repentance has to be sincere and complete. It may take time to convince your ex that you really mean that you’ve changed and you will remain faithful, but if you’re serious about making up after cheating you’ll need to do this for as long as it takes.
If you have been the victim of a cheater who now wants you back, consider very carefully if it seems sincere. You need to know that the same type of betrayal won’t just happen again if you give your relationship a second chance. Consider carefully the reason why your ex cheated in the first place. If your relationship was going downhill and you were fighting a lot before the cheating began, then there could be hope for you. But if your ex was deceiving you from the beginning or cheating for no apparent reason, then you’ve got no good reason to want your ex back in your life. To invite them back into your life would only be asking for more heartache and another painful breakup.
The length of your relationship will also factor into whether you want to rekindle your relationship after breaking up. If you were only together for a short time before the cheating behavior began than it is probably better off that you are not together anymore. But if you were together for a very long time and were highly committed to each other, you may want to think a little harder about making your breakup permanent. Do not throw away a long-standing, good relationship because of one honest mistake.
Cheating is a tricky issue that brings up very strong feelings. Breaking up because of infidelity in a relationship is a very difficult thing. Getting back together after that huge breach of trust is tough. You and your ex certainly can make up after cheating, but it isn’t going to be easy to repair the damage caused by infidelity. Proceed carefully and expect it to take time.
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
How to Catch a Cheater!
In almost half of all the relationships out there, one or the other partner is cheating. This isn't the most pleasant of statistics, but it's true - more and more relationships are ending because people are dishonest. If you're worried about whether or not your significant other is lying to you, here's a way to find out and a tool you can use to catch a cheater.
It's not hard to do, and you'll have your answer in just a few hours from the time you start. Here are the steps broken down simply.
Step One:
This part is the hardest. You'll need to make sure there's a time when you're able to get your hands on your significant other's cell phone for ten minutes or so, without him or her knowing it. There's no need to look at it for long, so finding a good time usually isn't hard.
Want a few ideas on when and how do do this? Consider waiting for your partner to take a long shower or go to the store and leave the phone behind. Waiting for your partner to fall asleep is another choice - these have all been successfully used by others, but your life will dictate the best time.
Step Two:
Once you've managed to get the phone, it's time to enter the call log. You'll need to be able to take a look at all the calls that have gone out, as well as all the ones that have come in.
Use a piece of paper, a notebook, or even a computer to take down all the numbers you find. That shouldn't take more than five to ten minutes, even for phones with a lot of calls. When you're done, return the phone to where you found it.
Step Three:
This is the last step. It's also the one that'll tell you if there's something weird going on with your partner and your relationship.
Now's the time to find out who owns each phone number on the list you've made. That way, you'll know exactly who the important person in your life spends his or her time talking to.
Want to find out information about the owner of a phone number? You'll need to do what's called a reverse phone lookup. In this case, it'll be the key to catch someone who's cheating.
Reverse phone lookups allow you to take a phone number and find out all the details about the owner of the phone it's attached to. You'll get their name and address, as well as detailed background data.
You'll need to use a service that specializes in reverse phone lookups to do this. While they do cost a little, it's not expensive. Make sure you choose a company that only charges a one time member ship fee, and you'll be able to pay once and run unlimited lookups on all the numbers on your list.
Now, you'll want to run a reverse phone number lookup on each and every one of those numbers you wrote down. When you get the information, write down the details. Look at it later to see if any suspicious call activity or names jump out at you.
This is one of the easiest ways to find out if your suspicions are true and get the information you need to confront your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. It's an effective to catch a cheater and find out the truth about your relationship!
It's not hard to do, and you'll have your answer in just a few hours from the time you start. Here are the steps broken down simply.
Step One:
This part is the hardest. You'll need to make sure there's a time when you're able to get your hands on your significant other's cell phone for ten minutes or so, without him or her knowing it. There's no need to look at it for long, so finding a good time usually isn't hard.
Want a few ideas on when and how do do this? Consider waiting for your partner to take a long shower or go to the store and leave the phone behind. Waiting for your partner to fall asleep is another choice - these have all been successfully used by others, but your life will dictate the best time.
Step Two:
Once you've managed to get the phone, it's time to enter the call log. You'll need to be able to take a look at all the calls that have gone out, as well as all the ones that have come in.
Use a piece of paper, a notebook, or even a computer to take down all the numbers you find. That shouldn't take more than five to ten minutes, even for phones with a lot of calls. When you're done, return the phone to where you found it.
Step Three:
This is the last step. It's also the one that'll tell you if there's something weird going on with your partner and your relationship.
Now's the time to find out who owns each phone number on the list you've made. That way, you'll know exactly who the important person in your life spends his or her time talking to.
Want to find out information about the owner of a phone number? You'll need to do what's called a reverse phone lookup. In this case, it'll be the key to catch someone who's cheating.
Reverse phone lookups allow you to take a phone number and find out all the details about the owner of the phone it's attached to. You'll get their name and address, as well as detailed background data.
You'll need to use a service that specializes in reverse phone lookups to do this. While they do cost a little, it's not expensive. Make sure you choose a company that only charges a one time member ship fee, and you'll be able to pay once and run unlimited lookups on all the numbers on your list.
Now, you'll want to run a reverse phone number lookup on each and every one of those numbers you wrote down. When you get the information, write down the details. Look at it later to see if any suspicious call activity or names jump out at you.
This is one of the easiest ways to find out if your suspicions are true and get the information you need to confront your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. It's an effective to catch a cheater and find out the truth about your relationship!
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Signs of a Cheating Spouse
Suspicion can be a toxic potion that eats away at you little by little. It is especially potent if you are feeling suspicious of your spouse in terms of a possible infidelity.
The sad truth is that, if you already suspect an infidelity on the part of your husband or wife, there probably is something going on at some level. However, what is going on may not actually be a full-blown affair. It could just an emotional affair, or it could just be a deep dissatisfaction with your relationship that is leading their thoughts to stray now and then.
In any event, suspicion without evidence is never totally conclusive and always leaves you feeling a bit uneasy - but without a way to really put your finger on what is going on. It can be helpful to get some hints about which types of behaviors that your spouse is exhibiting may be indications of an affair.
If you believe your spouse is cheating, here are 5 telltale signs of a cheating spouse:
1. Can't explain their whereabouts:
You may find yourself in situations whereby your spouse has come home from a day or evening out but was a bit fuzzy when it came to describing just where or how they were spending their time. Sure, everyone has a right to privacy now and then. However, if your spouse has always been generally pretty open about what they do when the two of you are apart - and yet lately they seem to clam up when you bring up the topic - that is a possible sign of a cheating spouse.
2. Buys gifts for "customers" or other people frequently:
Does your spouse carelessly leave receipts or credit card statements for gifts they are buying for another person? Usually, people who cheat on their husband or wife spend a lot of money in the process. That is going to leave a paper trail sooner or later, and you may have already seen signs of it.
3. Works late often:
If your spouse is often coming home very late, claiming that he or she had to work overtime, it could be the totally innocent sign of a diligent worker - or it could be an affair. Usually, working late in itself is not a sign of an infidelity, but combined with some of the other behaviors in this list it sure could be.
4. Often comes home late or leaves on trips unexpectedly at the last minute:
Think back to the past 6-12 months: has your spouse just up and left to go on a business trip or another type of vacation with little advance notice? This is a common behavior of cheating husbands and wives.
5. They refuse to talk to you about the idea of an affair or an emotional affair:
If you have brought up your suspicions about an affair to your spouse in the past, have you found that they refused to talk to you about it? Usually, flat denial is a loud and clear sign that something fishy is going on. After all, someone with nothing to hide will not clam up, get defensive, or try to change the subject if you bring it up.
Look for these 5 telltale signs of a cheating spouse. If you recognize any of these signs, be sure to take the steps to get to the bottom of it. Then, you will need to work to save your relationship so that you can regain the trust and find the love again.
The sad truth is that, if you already suspect an infidelity on the part of your husband or wife, there probably is something going on at some level. However, what is going on may not actually be a full-blown affair. It could just an emotional affair, or it could just be a deep dissatisfaction with your relationship that is leading their thoughts to stray now and then.
In any event, suspicion without evidence is never totally conclusive and always leaves you feeling a bit uneasy - but without a way to really put your finger on what is going on. It can be helpful to get some hints about which types of behaviors that your spouse is exhibiting may be indications of an affair.
If you believe your spouse is cheating, here are 5 telltale signs of a cheating spouse:
1. Can't explain their whereabouts:
You may find yourself in situations whereby your spouse has come home from a day or evening out but was a bit fuzzy when it came to describing just where or how they were spending their time. Sure, everyone has a right to privacy now and then. However, if your spouse has always been generally pretty open about what they do when the two of you are apart - and yet lately they seem to clam up when you bring up the topic - that is a possible sign of a cheating spouse.
2. Buys gifts for "customers" or other people frequently:
Does your spouse carelessly leave receipts or credit card statements for gifts they are buying for another person? Usually, people who cheat on their husband or wife spend a lot of money in the process. That is going to leave a paper trail sooner or later, and you may have already seen signs of it.
3. Works late often:
If your spouse is often coming home very late, claiming that he or she had to work overtime, it could be the totally innocent sign of a diligent worker - or it could be an affair. Usually, working late in itself is not a sign of an infidelity, but combined with some of the other behaviors in this list it sure could be.
4. Often comes home late or leaves on trips unexpectedly at the last minute:
Think back to the past 6-12 months: has your spouse just up and left to go on a business trip or another type of vacation with little advance notice? This is a common behavior of cheating husbands and wives.
5. They refuse to talk to you about the idea of an affair or an emotional affair:
If you have brought up your suspicions about an affair to your spouse in the past, have you found that they refused to talk to you about it? Usually, flat denial is a loud and clear sign that something fishy is going on. After all, someone with nothing to hide will not clam up, get defensive, or try to change the subject if you bring it up.
Look for these 5 telltale signs of a cheating spouse. If you recognize any of these signs, be sure to take the steps to get to the bottom of it. Then, you will need to work to save your relationship so that you can regain the trust and find the love again.
I Suspect My Spouse is Cheating - 5 Things You Should Do Next
For people who suspect that their spouse may be cheating on them, it can be a common and yet very painful practice to run imagined images of their cheating spouse through their minds. It is so tempting to imagine one's spouse involved in a torrid love affair with an attractive "other" man or woman whose very existence threatens your relationship.
While it can feel like self-torture, the act of imagining your spouse involved in an infidelity type of situation is actually quite natural. After all, when the facts that we have to go on about a possible affair are few and far between, the most natural thing in the world to do is to try to imagine what must be going on. But, it is even better to know the truth.
If you are saying to yourself, "I suspect my spouse is cheating," here are 5 things you should do next:
1. Find out what it really going on:
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, he or she probably is. Even if they are not involved in an actual affair, they very well may be involved in what is known as an emotional affair with another person. Or, they just may be unhappy with your marriage and occasionally put themselves in situations that could look like an affair from the outside.
The best way to find out is to ask your spouse if anything is going on. Of course, whether or not there is something going on, your spouse will likely deny the possibility. That's okay: what you are looking for is HOW they react to what you say. If they act genuinely hurt and upset, you may have gotten things totally wrong. However, if they try to change the subject or brush it off, an affair is likely.
2. Get them to admit that there is a problem:
If you do believe there is an affair going on, the next thing to do is to get your husband or wife to confess to it. You may not ever get them to actually say they are cheating on you, but if you continue with the right kinds of questions, you are likely to unearth any of the inappropriate behaviors he or she is engaged in. It is important to get their admission that something not healthy for your relationship is going on.
3. Make sure you define cheating in the broadest-possible sense:
Remember, even if your spouse has not actually had sex with another person, they may still be involved in an emotional affair. So, make sure that when you talk to your spouse you define the term broadly enough so that they do not get defensive and clam up. The goal should be to keep them talking.
4. Decide whether you can commit to healing the relationship:
If you do get your spouse to admit that an affair of some sort is going on, you will probably be very angry, sad, hurt, or all of the above. Those feelings are totally natural. And yet, at this point, you need to keep your emotions in check. Right now, you need to decide in your heart whether you can commit to healing the problems that caused the infidelity or not.
5. Decide whether getting counseling makes sense:
If you and your spouse do decide to work on your problems together, consider going to a professional counselor. Also, do your research to find advice that can help you survive your affair and get back to a health place in your lives again.
Do these 5 things if you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you.
While it can feel like self-torture, the act of imagining your spouse involved in an infidelity type of situation is actually quite natural. After all, when the facts that we have to go on about a possible affair are few and far between, the most natural thing in the world to do is to try to imagine what must be going on. But, it is even better to know the truth.
If you are saying to yourself, "I suspect my spouse is cheating," here are 5 things you should do next:
1. Find out what it really going on:
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, he or she probably is. Even if they are not involved in an actual affair, they very well may be involved in what is known as an emotional affair with another person. Or, they just may be unhappy with your marriage and occasionally put themselves in situations that could look like an affair from the outside.
The best way to find out is to ask your spouse if anything is going on. Of course, whether or not there is something going on, your spouse will likely deny the possibility. That's okay: what you are looking for is HOW they react to what you say. If they act genuinely hurt and upset, you may have gotten things totally wrong. However, if they try to change the subject or brush it off, an affair is likely.
2. Get them to admit that there is a problem:
If you do believe there is an affair going on, the next thing to do is to get your husband or wife to confess to it. You may not ever get them to actually say they are cheating on you, but if you continue with the right kinds of questions, you are likely to unearth any of the inappropriate behaviors he or she is engaged in. It is important to get their admission that something not healthy for your relationship is going on.
3. Make sure you define cheating in the broadest-possible sense:
Remember, even if your spouse has not actually had sex with another person, they may still be involved in an emotional affair. So, make sure that when you talk to your spouse you define the term broadly enough so that they do not get defensive and clam up. The goal should be to keep them talking.
4. Decide whether you can commit to healing the relationship:
If you do get your spouse to admit that an affair of some sort is going on, you will probably be very angry, sad, hurt, or all of the above. Those feelings are totally natural. And yet, at this point, you need to keep your emotions in check. Right now, you need to decide in your heart whether you can commit to healing the problems that caused the infidelity or not.
5. Decide whether getting counseling makes sense:
If you and your spouse do decide to work on your problems together, consider going to a professional counselor. Also, do your research to find advice that can help you survive your affair and get back to a health place in your lives again.
Do these 5 things if you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)